The 51st Dragon

In my High School's production of The Fiddler on the Roof I played the role of the constable. Fiddler on the Roof is a story that takes place in the jewish town of Anatevka. During the time the musical takes place many jews were being persecuted and forced to leave their homes and move to a new place. The constable is a Russian who acts as the leader of the local soldiers that are stationed in the town. Before the jews were forced to leave the constable and his men were tasked to keep the jewish people in line. Throughout the duration of the play many brawls occur between the soldiers and the towns people (one even takes place during a wedding). My character was to be stern and forceful; unsympathetic to the troubles of the jews. If you are familiar with my personality I am none of those things. I tend to be more shy and don't try to force my opinions on anyone. I am also a people pleaser and try my best to get along with anyone. While I served a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints this attribute came in handy with many of the associates that I was partnered with. We lived together and practically spent all of our time together (other than when using the bathroom of course). Being in this kind of arrangement can become rather stressful at times and it helped with the overall companionship. Now of course with this trait there was the possibility that I could be taken advantage of. So I learned to keep that attribute and defend my opinions in a way that still allowed us to have a good friendship. Sadly I didn't learn this ability until after High School. It could have helped me understand better how the constable would act. However, my teacher Nan Wharton gave me advice on how I could better portray a militant figure. I had this habit of leaning all of my weight on one leg. It wasn't something I did intentionally; it just effected the overall stern appearance of my macho facade. So, Nan encouraged me to practice putting equal weight on both legs to brake my nasty idiosyncrasy. I also practiced walking with a straight back, my chin in the air, and my arms set straight to my sides. I went into each rehearsal doing my best to perform these acts with utmost precision. Strangely enough I felt it was this act that ultimately helped me get into character. Nan always said, "practice makes permanent." The phrase practice makes permanent is what I thought of as I read about Gawaine and his dragon slaying. He didn't see himself as a dragon slayer. However, his school's headmaster saw that he could be, just like my teacher Nan saw that I could be the constable. To help Gawaine the headmaster gave him the magic word so that he would have something to believe in and focus on while battling the many dragons. The only problem is that this practice became permanent. He relied so much on this magic word that when he learned that it wasn't magic his confidence was broken and he did not know what to do. Maybe the old adage practice makes perfect was only true for the 50th time and practice makes permanent stepped in on the 51st time. The only problem is he hadn't practiced killing a dragon without the magic word. Luckily for me I did not end up like Gawaine. The advice my teacher gave me proved true in the end and I was able to perform without braking character. As our last show ended she gave me a hug and told me how proud she was of me. She knew the challenges I faced with the personality difference I had with the constable and saw me overcome it.

Kenneth Grahame

There are many influential people in my life. Nan Wharton--my drama teacher from high school--who helped me find courage and develop the skill to perform in front of others. Matthew Cooper--trained me while I served as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints--helping me learn ways to share the gospel. Many friends who have given me support while going through school. Most of all my parents. It would be hard to tell you all the things that they have done for me. So I will endeavor to tell you a few things that they have done for me. In High School I was heavily involved in the theatre program and working at Mountain View Veterinary Health Center as Kennel/Custodial (which basically means that I was in charge of all the boarding animals). Both required that I wake up early every day and stay out till late in the evening. Whether I was on my way to an early morning rehearsal or heading to one of the clinics to walk and feed all the animals; I was generally the first one up and the last one down every day. Every once in a while I would run into my older brother Highland and he would jokingly say, "Gosh, do you still live here? I haven't seen you for days." This was true and made even more sad because our rooms were directly across the hall from each other. To be honest I didn't really think that much of it at the time, but, every once in a while I would actually be home with neither work or rehearsal to take me away. Well, unless you count homework. It was at times like this that my mom--who also worked--would come up next to me and say, "Hey bud, long time no see. How are you doing?" She would then proceed to give me a hug and follow up with me on what was going on in my life. It wasn't until years later while teaching the importance of families to people in Detroit that I was able to draw on this experience. Relating to another family how much my mom cared about me. That even though she had her own career she would much rather have been at home. Her job made it so she couldn't help out at school with my shows. She even apologized a few times that she couldn't be there like some of the other moms and dads. She regardless was giving me support by just letting me know she loved me through that simple act. My dad also did similar things to show me that love. Whenever I had problems I was going through I never shared them with anyone. I still today don't always open up, though I have become slightly better at sharing. Whenever I had something weighing heavily on my mind my dad could just tell. The cool thing about this is that he would never push me to tell him anything. He would just ask and then wait until I was ready to share. Often that was all I needed to get over whatever was on my mind. Knowing that if I ever wanted to talk he would be there to listen. Growing up is hard. I knew by listening to a few of my peers complain about their parents that I was very lucky. Even if I had parents I never saw sometimes or didn't always confide in them. I knew they cared. They wanted what was best for me.

Martin Luther King Jr. (I Have a Dream)

I love reading Martin Luther King Jr.'s speech I Have a Dream! It does the best job of reminding me that change is constant. In the beginning of his speech he speaks of Abraham Lincoln and the Emancipation Proclamation; which brought about the release of all black slaves. Dr. King further eludes that change is constant when he says,"But one hundred years later, the Negro is still not free. One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination." By saying this Dr. King expresses vividly that the Negro is free of slavery, but not "free" of a different bondage. A bondage that keeps them socially beneath white people. I further love how he does all of this while setting an example; urging other Negro to "...forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline.We must not allow of creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again, we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force." I relate to this theme of change and doing so peaceably with my constant fight with weight issues. I know it doesn't sound quite as important as when compared to the social bondage Dr. King speaks of. However, I assure you it is. When you are not as thin as everyone else you are often made fun of; that is to be sure. Apart from the numbing effects of the teasing of others; you are the one who fully cripples yourself. Now I am not speaking of a physical paralysis, rather an emotional. I myself have been my worst enemy. Telling myself that I couldn't go out for sports or become the lead in the school play; simply because I was fat and ugly. To be the lead of the play or the captain of the basketball team I had to be skinny/fit. So it was back in Dr. King's day, if you were a negro and not white you could not do anything important and were kept in your place. This is wrong! We must allow ourselves to reach our full potential; further more we must be there to help each other. In High School it was my family and friends who encouraged me to audition for musicals and plays. In our nations history--as mentioned by Dr. King-- it wasn't only black people who wanted their freedom, but a few white people recognized that blacks deserved there freedom too. Dr. King even goes as far as calling those white people in attendance brothers. I think that Dr. King sums everything up perfectly at the end when he states, "And when this happens, when we allow freedom ring,en we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old negro spiritual: Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!" I know it is a long quote, but it deserves repeating. I felt within myself the truth that all of us can only truly be free if we are all free together. Dr. King doesn't just leave his dream at black people. He expands his dream to encompass the entire globe. He knows it is the only lasting way for all of us to be free. We need to grab hold upon his dream. It doesn't matter is we're fat, skinny, black, white, or somewhere caught in the middle. We deserve it to ourselves to help each other and support each other. Only in this way can we become free.

How My Week Went

Last week was probably the best possible week for this blog to be assigned. The reason being my sister Bethany, her husband Tom, and her two daughters Martha and Alina; were in town visiting from Michigan. It was a stressful week to be sure. With a Math 1050 exam on monday. A revised paper due on tuesday along with a peer review scheduled for that same day. Another peer review for Thursday and the final draft being due on Friday. This doesn't even include the math homework that was due throughout the week. Not to mention I was sleeping on a very uncomfortable pull out bed from the living room couch; as my room was occupied by Bethany's family. All the while juggling the time I spent with my family, work, and school. I felt I did rather well. I found an abundance of time to spend with my family. Keep in mind I had two other sisters and a brother with their families come and spend a large sum of time at my parent's house as well. You can imagine being the favorite uncle that I am, I was in high demand. So, I would like to focus on the fun and exciting things that happened(outside of school that is). First off; I participated in many an air soft war. Which if you are unaware is the use of spring powered guns that launch plastic pellets at your opponents. The war game we conducted was in the form of capture the flag. The rules varying only slightly. The most obvious change is that instead of tagging someone with your hand you would shoot them. Other changes being no jail, if you got shot on the opposite teams side you would have to retreat to the very edge of your side before reengaging the opponent. Also if you got shot on your side you were required to count slowly to 15. Finally instead of using actual flags we used paper cups or tin pie pans. The goal was to locate, shoot and knock down the opposing teams "flag". Even though the air soft guns we used sounded gentle in name; nothing could have been farther from the truth. My brother in law Tom mentioned to his wife Bethany that he loved it when you would hear a loud ouch in response to a direct hit. Often wherever you were struck would swell into a tiny welt. On the other rare and painful occasion you would bleed. If not for the warning label to wear eye protection when in use; I imagine the emergency room would have been visited quite often. I remember distinctly a handful of times where a pellet would graze of my glasses. Not regular glasses, the glasses that you wear when working with wood or power tools; understand that this is not overkill. My family also spent some time over at Bear Lake. I myself was not able to be with them the entire day as I had classes. Hearing about when they capsized the canoe second hand. I did however get to go up after classes; originally planning to take my younger brother Jorgen with me; spend only a few hours there then go back home so I could go to classes the next day and Jorgen could go to work. Long story short (leaving out the details of a heated argument) I ended up staying over night and missing my classes the following day (sorry Jeff and Ram). The evening I arrived we played 20 questions. We eventually limited the game to things that were present inside the condo and changed it from 20 questions to an unlimited amount. Being the smart person I am I chose the hardest object; a crumb. It probably took them 20 to 30 minutes until they were able to figure it out. The next morning we spent our time in the pool. Where I taught my eldest niece (Kayla) and nephew (Wade) the fine art of water fighting. Showing them the precise way to move your hand and get optimal splash effect. We also competed to see who could swim the farthest without coming up for air. Needless to say I won and even managed to travel the entire length of the pool before rising for air; needless to say they were in aw my awesomeness. I was then promptly humbled when I head butted the floor of the pool while attempting to swim without my hands. Which Wade refers to dolphin or the more commonly known mermaid form. Yeah, pretty embarrassing! Well there you have it. The highlights of my illustrious week. Try not be to to jealous.

Henry David Thoreau

I love it when Henry David Thoreau says "to front only the essential facts of life". He hits every major problem -in my opinion- that we face in the world right now. Nearly every other person lives in the cyber world. Wether it is facebook, twitter, e-mail, video games, computer games, or especially texting. These things not only limit the amount of true human interaction they bottle everyone up inside their homes. It is painfully obvious that the social skills of many Americans is next to zilch. Just go to Wal-Mart and try to make eye contact for ten solid seconds with anyone. I bet you the one who even acknowledges you is the cashier; sometimes that is only when telling you the price of your purchase. We are utterly lost as a society when it comes to actual social interaction. Do you remember what you did the last time the power went out and you had no wifi? I know how dare I even bring it up. In all seriousness, what did you do? Did you walk back and forth through your house aimlessly? Did you sit on your couch staring at the blank television screen just praying it would suddenly flicker to life? If you answered yes or you mind jumped to something equally sad and pathetic -you know who you are- fix it. Instead of texting your best friend that is sitting right next to you. Say something! The second struggle that we face as a society is staying indoors. I myself am guilty of hibernating in my man cave, even in the middle of summer. I love reading which I grudgingly admit can be added to the list above of things that keep us from real life. Nature is amazing! There is no other way to put it. Nothing compares to going on a hike and seeing the vibrant greens of shrubbery, the deep absorbing blue of the sky, and the endless kaleidoscope of colors found all around. There is so much to enjoy outside. Sadly, the human race has spent the last few centuries perfecting the indoors we miss out on the perfection just beyond our porch. All you need to do is get up, get out, and see it. Rain storms -though wet- are quite fun to dance in. Thoreau mentions very strikingly "to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life". Awesome? Heck yeah! Have you ever sucked the marrow from a bone? I have and it is no easy task. First of all you have to crack the bone. Now don't use your front teeth or they will break. Use your back teeth which are much stronger. After that don't start chewing what you broke apart; it tastes good at first then rapidly declines in its appeal. Instead pull it out of your mouth and proceed to eat only the marrow by sucking it out. Apparently it is good for you because it is pure calcium. Right, the point I am making is, that it is not easy. Life is not easy; if it is you are doing something wrong. Marrow is good for you though strange for most Americans to even think of eating. I failed my drivers test the first time; I took it again and passed by exaggerating my head checks which were the cause of my failing the first time. Now I enjoy the freedom of a drivers license. I have started running every morning. I listen to audiobooks to distract myself from pain that so well accompanies this exercise of running. I bask in the quality of my elevated health because I stuck with it. Life is not easy, nor is it supposed to be. "Live deep" -which I believe means sticking with the hard things no matter what- and you will find that it is well worth it. Then when you see it is well worth it. Invite others to join in. Thoreau's goal was to share what he learned of life. We should do the same.

Why Music Matters

Music to me is the ultimate form of transportation and transformation. I know cool right. You may be wondering how this can be, for music is not magic. Do not judge to quickly. There is magic in every note of every song. If you have not experienced this personally, the problem lies not in the music but in yourself. Music's magic is something the beneficiary must allow to happen. I guess I would say that music is the atlas of change. When I was sixteen and my family moved from Michigan to Utah. I was surprised to feel the transformation magic of music. It was not instant but gradual. I can still remember vividly my first audition in the Sky View High School auditorium. Nan Wharton, John Caldwell, and I believe Kody Rash were there. All the other students seemed to be the ultimate examples of confidence. I on the other hand was not. After starting and restarting my monologue a million times. Nan took pity on me and told me to grab the paper and just read directly from it. However as I began to sing my confidence shinned through. Well maybe it was more like muscle memory took control. Unlike my monologue I practiced my song over and over. My dad advising me to let loose, be loud, proud, and to shake what my mama gave me. Well my dad would never use those words specifically. He more likely said "Don't hold back, sing out and be sure to use your diaphragm". Oh, we'll. It was fun imagining right? I must have done something right because I was asked in for a call back. This was the start of my transformation. The music brought me to new friends and exciting experiences. Without it I would have missed out on so much. Going through High School would have been mundane. I became a dancer, actor, and a singer. A triple threat as they are called. Okay that sounds very prideful. Understand that I was by no means the most talented in school, but I didn't just sit around doing nothing. I bettered myself by pushing to go for something full out regardless of any possible embarrassment; something I would have never done before. To just come out and say it. My transformation-with the help of music- was one in confidence. Musical by musical, song by song, and note by note. Never fully realizing the strength music was pouring into me. Now years later; the songs I heard and sang. Pull from the closets of my memory powerful thoughts and emotion. Transporting me back to the days of yesteryear. A song that promised me change is constant. That even though at times the change can be scary it is necessary. Teaching me that the way through all the change is to remember all that I learned. Recollecting my first audition, my first performance, my first solo, and even my first real kiss. I guess it isn't really the music that made the change, but that it marked the path. As if all those songs are little flares along the road of my life. Giving me focal points of learning to draw from. I hope that makes sense. We never really know what the next song on the radio will do to us. Maybe the lyrics will teach us a new lesson or remind us of one we learned long ago. Possibly it is just there to brighten your day. You know what I mean. We have all had that song that catches us unawares; where suddenly we realize we're dancing in our seats. Not caring who sees. Allow this magic to work in your life. Remember the lessons, but more importantly the change. I don't know anyone who doesn't have something about themselves that they want to change. Music helped me change and grow. Let it do the same for you.